The Two Lambs by Morgan Rae

 

Something I fear is not being pure enough to be Gods’s chosen one.

The art challenge I was tasked to do was to draw something I fear.

I was told it needed to be deeper than just a drawing of a bee or a bear.

At first, when this challenge started, no fears came to mind.

I didn’t want to go deep. I didn’t think there was anything deep to look for.

My excuse was: "why would I do this challenge when I’m planning on being fearless?”

But then the longer I sat at the table, staring at my blank page, thoughts and feelings started to surface.

Ones I don’t think about very often unless I’m getting very dealt with.

I found myself thinking about how I fear I’ll never find it to truly believe, or how I might be searching for something but getting lost in my own understanding.

I had started to draw two different images: one of a large pitch black room with a person and an exit.

The exit was clear with a light above it so you know it’s right there. However, the person’s back is towards the exit as they stare at a map—blind to the obvious way out and lost.

The next image was the broken compass of my understanding. So many arrows pointing to different directions, even though there was an obvious path made for me to follow.

As I’m trying to draw these images and struggling because they lacked the depth and connection, a vision suddenly came to me; one very clear.

Immediately I felt a connection to something I’ve never thought to say.

I saw two lambs in a grassy meadow.

The shepherd is looking at them through his eyes.

One is pure like the snow, and one is muddy and matted by dirt.

I started drawing immediately, not having any plans besides just drawing them as the vision I saw.

And as I drew, things I hadn’t planned were added.

The pure one was drawn with its eyes open and awake.

It has chosen to follow the shepherd and because of that, it watches him—so it can move as he does.

But the dirty one keeps his eyes closed.

It resists. It will not follow and it is blind to the shepherd. Its body and heart is not pure.

Because of that, it doesn’t get chosen.

As I drew them, I thought I’d draw the lambs with a contrast of land.

The pure one was clean and healthy because it thrives off green grass, while the matted and dirty lamb ate the old dead grass.

But as I was drawing, I knew I couldn’t do that.

You’d pity the dirty lamb for not having the abundance of fresh grass.

And that’s where I knew the lambs were given the same land, the same nutrients to thrive off of.

Yet the one lamb chose to find the mud to roll in.

I have worried often times while gathering with other believers and listening to testimonies of God choosing his people that I would not be pure enough when the time comes.

That I will still choose a selfish path, and resist the calling of my shepherd.

Drawing this was very revealing, as I know the opportunity is there and I have the choice to thrive off the land I was given.