The only way to find what we are looking for is to focus.
Like: REALLY focus.
I’ve continued this spiritual battle for my husband’s health, who has been in a life-threatening situation.
A strong desire to see the things we struggle with be done away, the obstacles in our path be removed.
The breakthrough in whatever it is my husband has been dealing with began to possess me.
I cried out diligently to the Lord for answers.
One day I was stirred to fast.
To abstain from the things that are actually a drain of life. I want to be filled with God’s life, not drained.
I began the fast with the intent of seeing a complete breakthrough for my husband.
At first, there were many questions about whether this thought had come from God or my religious past.
As I sought the Lord, peace came upon me that He was indeed the Author of this fast.
Day 1&2~
As we cry out to God to reveal what is needed for Jerome to be healed, He has been revealing demonic spirits of anxiety, hopelessness and unbelief that we needed to rebuke.
As each of those things left, my husband’s symptoms improved!
It was glorious!
Day 3&4~
I was broken completely of my own ability to find anything.
The word that came was to surrender. Surrender to what God said.
"Yes, I am the Lord your God ever since the land of Egypt, and you shall know no other God but me; for there is no Savior besides Me." Hosea 13:4
The kingdom of God is order. Let all things come into order.
I had the most glorious visitation of God!!
For hours: praise, rejoicing, declaration, new revelation, and confidence filled me, poured out of me, and I now Know what perfect peace is!!
Day 5~
We had had no sleep for so many days. God gave me strength and focus to drive my husband to town, and to walk with him through the whole doctor’s office journey.
I saw an angel of God with us in the room standing guard, and we were not to fear.
We went grocery shopping, and my body wanted to seize up as I beheld wall to wall, floor to ceiling: food!
That was intense!! So much available to feed the soul!
The pressure of humanity and soul activity REALLY struck me while we were in town.
It made me more sure that I want to be washed of the way my natural, carnal soul thinks and responds.
Day 6~
Began with a very clear revelation about the difference between soul and spirit, and the tree of Knowledge of good and evil versus the tree of Life.
Day 7~
My daughter needed my help with a project that typically takes a lot of energy and strength. Somehow as we worked, God filled me with energy and enough strength that I got to ride my horse with her. Such a joy!
Day 8~
I was totally exhausted, and drained. Feeling over it. The opposite of the day before.
I didn't think I could continue, but felt strongly to press in for a few more days.
I had the thought that I could push through with my own determination–but what would that profit?
To end in the soul what began in the spirit?
In prayer, I cried out to God and gave it to Him.
I also was stirred to study the meaning of numbers in the Bible, particularly the number 10, which I found out is the number representing order.
I felt like that was my goal since we have been seeking for and receiving order a few days prior. God gave me a dream about being paralyzed, and I declared Jesus Christ is Lord of all.
Then it let go and was gone.
Day 9~
I woke up with peace and energy.
I had excitement and anticipation of God and being with Him. Songs poured from me all day.
My heart soared! Each day Jerome improves in energy and joy.
I had abundant energy to walk with my family, God gave me strength to prepare a meal for our friends who came to visit.
It was so good! The fellowship that night was sweet and so full of peace!
Day 10~
–and I felt amazing!!! Like I could fast forever! When the fast began it was open ended–to go until we find completion.
I decided to end the fast with some broth while my family ate dinner.
Later, however, there seemed to be an attack in the house; disunity was trying to find a foothold in the house.
We addressed that, repented and moved on. I had a huge sense of sadness about the end of a season that has been so full of life.
God did so much during the last 10 days. It blows my mind. Now I am before the Lord: Do I repent of that cup of broth and continue or is this the next season?
After writing this out, God spoke to me to trust Him. He is removing self life to replace it with Christ life. To not fear, only believe. Perfect love casts out fear.
Day 11~
At peace to let God lead me to the end. Super vulnerable!!!
My carnal soul is screeching again, feeling persecuted. I have never been here before. All of this is totally new!!!
I will let my Father complete the work!
Day 12~
We arose early to get everything ready so we could go meet up with other believers.
We are new creatures as we head over there! What will that be like?
I have to say it is precious beyond words to have these people in our lives!!! The love, the joy, the encouragement, seeking to go deeper together, all of it fills me with deep thankfulness!
Not long after we arrived, Jerome got a call from the doctor we had seen. The doctor gave the results of all the different tests.
Every single test came out perfectly healthy!!! Glory to God!
Day 13~
I felt so at rest today! I sat in the same chair for hours as people ate. We fellowshipped and sought God together. I slept off and on.
I was weaker today, and often dizzy when I stood up.
After a long time, my niece was playing guitar, so I went to join her. We sang together through the Psalms. Other believers joined us. I was lifted up and energized by worship!
This evening, I faced hungry kids and chores to complete. I really had to fight to keep a freedom in my heart! My flesh is not comfortable at all.
Once the food was prepared for my family I slipped off to take a warm bath and rest.
I feel like this could be the end of this chapter. God has met us. He has answered our cry. He has set us free and healed us.
Now it is time to step forth, growing up more spiritually in this new life we have received.
Day 14~
I woke up this morning with clarity: This is the start of a new chapter.
I drink my broth with thanksgiving, joy, peace, and anticipation of what the Lord is doing! What is next?
I do not know, but I am ready and will be made ready, because He is. 💕
